Page 767…
I have to confess….
Originally Nicole said “Ok…Come on! Get in Bed! We’ll do it Right Now!”
But while sexual tension is nice between boy and girl…this may have been a bit too overt.
So I changed it last minute…and I’m not sure if it works.
Also on this page…we had Alex going “Guys”….then a couple panels later….”GUYS!”
I also realized I did that at least once with Felicity when she first saw the dwarves…and I’m not sure if I’ve also used that another time as well.
So here I am. 10pm at night lettering this page…and thinking….”ACK!
Anyways. Bad excuses…ha ha. I’m not trying to make excuses…I promise.
Just thought this would make for good reading…
🙂
Hope you enjoy it. Imperfections and all. We’ll see how tomorrow pans out.
Scott
LOL. Honestly I saw the sexual joke in it anyway, even with the modified dialog. Still works, I think – just more subtle 😉
Also, arg! This suspense is killing me! Must know ;_;
What is the picture?!?
Love Alex’s face in the top panel, too darn weird, but the cliffhanger is killing me! I must stop checking the page after midnight and just wait until morning. But please tell that paper has documented proof of Dreamland.
xD
It’s obvious that Alex saw something that Nicole didn’t see when she wrote that. He looks very…. uncomfortable.
Good comic!
I don’t know if it’s just me but the last couple of panels with alex in them, his hands seemed to be bigger and out of proportion with the rest of his body.
Alex has seen something, maybe the paper contains some kind of Dreamland’s history or legend that he heard of when in Dreamland, for example, a paper describing Paddington’s dance.
She was probably around 10 (completely random guess) when she wrote that. I’m assuming she saw whatever it is Alex wants to show them or there was nothing to see at the time, just she didn’t look back over it before showing them.
Anyway, Alex’s hands are probably just a victim of perspective. In every shot they’re closer to the forefront of the image than the rest of him.
Methinks Alex is about to prove Dreamland to Nicole… with her own writing.
I’ve long wondered if the little girl Felicity used to hang out with was Nicole.
Good choice on Alex’s new dialog… I would have prefered the origonal bed refrence… Im dense and missed the sexual tension with the published dialog.
Ahhh, the plot thickens! Again, Can’t wait till tomorrow! 😉
yeah, saw the joke, but it doesn’t bug me.
I was thinking that perhaps Nicole’s dreamland friend was a talking panda by the name of Ferdinand Montoya Jimenez De Guadalupe …. also known as “Spotty”. If Alex can give Nicole the name of “Ferdinand Montoya Jimenez De Guadalupe” and she remembers it….. Gee Nicole. That’s just a coincidence isn’t it? 😀
awesome page. i do prefer pages in dreamland usually, but this one was rich. they do make a perfect couple, fuming at alex. good to know he can at least read, by the way! haha. i agree with lonna and others. nicole didn’t reread that childhood-era writing before she showed it to them and she’s about to be convinced.
I like the ‘Spotty’ connection; nice plot twist idea SparcMan. You should run with that Scott, even if it means a bit of a rewrite 😀
The lighting is really bold too; looks good.
Seems fairly likely that something in her writings will have a startling resemblance to Alex’s.
The new phrase is very good, better than the first one because… Well, there’s children reading.
I too think that Nicolle knows one of the chars presented already… maybe it is Spotty, but I believe it is Felicity, because of a comment she made
If you hang this over the weekend, I’ll…I’ll…I’ll, read it on Monday!!
LOL…Keep up the great work!
Yeah, saw the joke anyway, but nice 360 turn 😛
Stephen W., I think the hands look big only because they’re closer to the “camera” than the rest of him.
lol, i think i was obvious..
Thank you all…
Glad the dialog’s ok. Thanks.
I DO miss the old dialog…but trying to keep it All Ages…I think this is better.
Also…as to the hands. Those are ALex’s regular hands. I didn’t change them. They’ve ALWAYS been that big.
You just don’t notice it until they’re close to his face.
🙂
I’m excited for tomorrow. I like how things are going.
I think the ‘um… guys’ actually works better with Alex’s facial expressions.
PLEASE tell me that’s Nicole’s own description of Dreamland! That is the only thing that will get through to her!
I bet it’s a picture of someone we know… there *were* some doodles in the pages we saw flying yesterday.
I’m glad you changed that. I’m not into joke stuff like that. I guess I’m a very family friendly kind of person.
*dumm dumm dumm duuuuuuum* What will happen next I wonder!
Pls pls pls pls don’t keep it hanging for the weekend
You could have also used “Ok…Come on! Get in Bed! We’ll do this Right Now!†which wouldn’t have been nearly as overt as the original, but still had the same flow. It didn’t seem terribly bumpy with the change you ended up making.
If I had my guess, he’s going to point out that her “imaginary friend” is the same one Alex has been helping.
Scott, the dialog is good! I think the subtlety it there just enough… it’s more like the little kids hitting each other when they like someone.
SparcMan that is a good idea, but then, Alex couldn’t remember the name 2 seconds after he was told it.
Yeah, I like the dialog better this way. Not only is it more acceptable for all ages, but you want the sexual tension to be presented in a subtle way. If you hit the reader over the head with a blatant erotic overtone, it’s more of a release and you lose the tension. Good work, Scott!
Heh. Figured there’d be something with the way he was looking at that page yesterday. Here it comes…
I don’t see them as excuses, I think others would agree it’s interesting to hear about your creative process. We all double guess ourselves and sometimes frantically change things last minute. It’s also nice to see you’re molding your.. baby? Whatever, your pet project, something important enough to you, you want to take the extra step to make sure you’re not rehashing the same stuff, and that’s probably a part of what keeps us coming back.
Nice work.
Yes. Just like ArtsAngel said, I see it anyway. And I would have preferred “Ok…Come on! Get in Bed! We’ll do it Right Now!” =)
Ha! Thanks you guys!
You’re so great!
Hoisted on one’s own note-ard…
I liked the first version of the dialouge the best…I like my sexual inuendo to be as graphic as possible…hey I am a male, don’t expect no apologies.
A cliff-hanger every day!
I dislike the new dialog, because for foreign readers like me is kinda hard to spot all the hidden meanings. I would have missed it, thanks for the comments.
I would have preferred some middle point between both dialogs.
Nooooo, Cliff-Hanger of DOOM.
I suppose I can wait till tomrorrow…
I wonder if Nicole suppressed her own memories enough that she forgot about Felicity entirely? Or, er, not necessarily Felicity. I suppose. >>
i got the joke ^^ though if it’s only supposed to be nicole’s freudian slip, i feel leaving it as your original version would have been fine… only if she said it to mean it in a sexual way, then it might be better not to be so overt in a family friendly page.. just my opinion…
next topic.. maybe nicole knew alex in dreamland when they were kids~!! guess if she knew feli or spotty woulda been more convincing ^^;
It’s a picture of Alex in his P.J.s that the brother will recognise also. Hehe I am soooooooo Smart I scare myself.
Alex never met other kids as a child in Dreamland (which is rather odd, as he went there for a few years, and now he met some children in a few days). Therefore he and Nicolce can’t have met in Dreamland. He most likely saw some familiar Dreamlander in that drawing.
The re-write is good but personally I think you should have gone with “I’ll” instead of “We’ll” for two reasons. First it increases the tension between Daniel and Nicole while maintaining the all ages level of the comic. The second reason is it’s not like Nicole expects any help from Alex or Daniel and she dose not strike me as the royal “We” sort of person.
PS. This comic is in the “Must Read” folder on my bookmarks toolbar toolbar.
BearlM: LOL. And I don’t say that much.
I really think that what is on the paper is even more profound than just her own descriptions of dreamland. I’m holding out for something like her having a copy of one of the tablets that Nick is looking for or the location of Nat’s parents. Yeah, I agree with the Felicity being the old friend bit. Just wait till our dear kitty-girl can be grossed out with stories of her old friend who’s now got a boyfriend(or at least will very soon.)
Another weir theory – What would happen if Dan were to wear the necklace?
13th mage, as Dan is a participant, it’s still an inclusive we, and not hardly a royal we- a royal we would also have more formal toning; Without that, it’s just a grammatical error.
Nevertheless, “I’ll” does sound better. On the other hand, people are people, so why should it be.. I mean, so shall it be- grammatical “glitches” are common in everyday speech.
It works. Don’t worry. 🙂
Here where I think he’s going with this Cat girls missing best friend from dream land was the brainy “Dreamland’s not real” girl…. Which if you think about it is Awesome. It’ll totally take her down a peg or to and bring the story in a new light. I mean Felicity is dying. Well she stay on the river De-Nile or well she work to save her and maybe send a message to her old friend via Alex….. just a though.
I think your changes work quite well thanks 🙂
Personally I vote for the dialogue of “do it right now” I don’t think it’s dirty unless you choose to interpret it as such, and I DO CHOOSE it so…gimme my joke next time. =-)
The dialogue works either way; this is a bit more subtle. And, either one would be oblique enough that it’s still PG, I hope: there’s a picture out there that, if a child sees it, they see the 13 dolphins.
I have an observation different from all of the above:
Is it just me, or does Alex’s appearance in the “real world” now seem more boyish, as compared with a more mature appearance in Dreamland? Meh, maybe it’s just the armor …
🙂
Hur hur hur, Nicole wants him in bed.
And I think that the girl-friend that used to play with Nicole might be Feli!
Whoever edits and publseihs these articles really knows what they’re doing.
Don’t get your hopes up about Alex being able to read; it might be a picture.
LOL I know what you mean: GET IN BED! >:)