Page 2046…
Question to you all (Happy Tuesday, by the way)…
Do you think these pages would benefit from narration?
For example:
“As Merlin and Niviene’s magic consumes them, intertwining with the magic from the portals, their mortal bodies become living magic.”
“Their combined energy overloading the portals connected to each other around the world”
Something like that?
Or… is it clear to readers?
hi,
the examples in comment are not too much clear. But I think it all matters if it makes the readers “dreaming”, with nice drawings, but otherwise it doesn’t seem to add to the narration. This current page, is a bit frustrating, as it doesn’t show much : just light everywhere, and the “shape” of Merlin. I suppose that the black “bubbles” are the nightmare creatures disintegrated.
I didn’t understand what was going on until I read the explanation, so at least for me, yes.
The pictures were enough to me. It is clearly a chain reaction of destruction.
It seems like the panels are not in the right order because we have portals remaining in the last panel with the horn like projections at the top. The order that makes sense to me is 1) Merlin and Neviene doing magic stuff 4) The portals starting to grow brighter 3) The portals starting to overload 2) The portals exploding and throwing off the horn like projections.
As it appears, panel 2 shows and explosion but panels 3 and 4 show the portals remaining and apparently getting better, almost like, “Nice try Merlin, but you rolled a 1.”
Maybe have something in the first panel that’s short and simple like “now begone foul beasts!” Or simply “now begone!” Which would make a little more sense since the previous panel is establishing Merlin as raw magic.
Mostly depends on what’s to become of the creatures, but done hint would be helpful.
Narration is necessary, I think. Or maybe sound effects. If in the first panel there was a rising whine followed by a “ka-BOOM!” in the second, and then in the fourth panel we saw multiple rising whines, I think that would suggest we’re about to see something fairly spectacular…
^I like the sound effect idea.
I have no idea what is happening if that helps.
Multiple portals all around “the world” ? Dreamland, Earth, what? There are really that many portals somewhere? Is Merlin destroying them? Is he activating them?
Show, don’t tell. Blocks of narration are jarring when it hasn’t been used up until this point. Even aside from that, narration is clunky. The only comic I’ve read that I thought used it effectively was Sandman. It only worked because it was first person and added to the overwrought, gothic tone of the series.
Merlin says “I am magic” and then on the next page the portals go boom. That’s everything the reader needs to know to follow the story.
that is what i think too.
I don’t think this page needs it. Maybe some exposition later, but definitely not now.
I think the page works without narration. I like the pureness of it without words.
And, for once, everyone on the planet had a good nights rest, waking up with peace in their hearts… yeah right!
Or something like “Let us be one, my love.
For we have lived apart too long.
Let us give ourselves to the one that made it possible to be together.
Magic.”
Methinks it needs the lyrical touches of an old soul.
agreed. I get that Niv and Merlin are overloading the portals, but the last panel is confusing to me. I don’t know if they overloaded or just soaked up a lot of energy. seems like they should be asploding like the big one did, or powering down?
so yeah, I’d either fix the last panel, add one on the next page, or add some kind of character-given exposition soon, but not on this page.
I think this panel would definitely benefit from narration. As long as it isn’t used too much as a crutch it is fine. Your comic is usually very clear and does not need extra explanation, but every once in awhile it actually works best if a few words help explain.
Not necessarily narration, but perhaps give the latter two panels the same treatment as the second to show that they’re all being destroyed simultaneously?
I agree that it’s not entirely clear to the reader what has just happened, but in that regard, the reader is in the same boat as everyone in the story except for Merlin and Niviene. I agree with others in that adding narration where it had been rarely used before (or never used, I don’t recall it being used previously), would seem out of place.
Is it too late to add a panel or two of exposition between the characters afterwards (in later pages that is) to explain to both the readers and the characters what just happened?
I like this suggestion. Although in the time frame that things are happening, I’m not sure he can fit that many words in there. Maybe part of this can be explained earlier before he burst in on the Gilgamesh/Dan conversation?
Yeah I didn’t understand it either. I thought he was destroying all the portals or something. The narration helped alot.
I think many people have already said what I was thinking, basically,
1) I didn’t get “As Merlin and Niviene’s magic consumes them, intertwining with the magic from the portals, their mortal bodies become living magic.” per se…. but I figured they were blowing up the portals, partly because the characters did enough exposition about that earlier (see my point 3b).
2) I *DON’T* think you should start using narration now as that was never used in the comic up until now.
3) Some suggestions I liked:
a) perhaps changing the sequence of the panels a little or have more things blowing off in the last panel to indicate a progression of things blowing up
b) have the characters do the exposition. Maybe Merlin can explain to Nicole a little more explicitly what would happen to him and Niviene once they blow the portals up? Maybe after Nicole leaves, before Merlin interrupts Dan’s bargaining party, Merlin can turn to Niviene and asks her if she’s ready for merging with the magic or something and she can be like yes my love, or something.
I think this page is hard to understand without it, but if it gets clearer next page, it would be better to go without narration.
I think this page is reasonably clear, since I can make out the portals, and Merlin already said he was destroying the portals. Narration would be weird.
An alternate way to show would be to show (in small panels) what’s on the other side of the portals, rather than just the portals all clustered together.
If you happen to read Order of the Stick, there’s a page where Vaarsuvius destroys a few thousand dragons around the world, and it’s shown something like that.. (without being quite so.. evil in this case)
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0639.html
I didn’t get the “living magic” thing from the pictures, but I don’t think adding narration is the way to go.
If you have any conversations planned in the future that explains this, that would work. Personally, I don’t need to hear the answer to a mystery right away, and as long as there’s some explanation at a later point, I don’t mind waiting a bit.
No, its not not clear at all to be honest
Like, are they dead now? Becoming pure magic seems like a bad idea when that magic is then used to overload and explode portals.
Or in other words, transcending into a form of raw energy might sound like a great thing at first, but that’s not at all the case if it’s all released in a split second with a yield of several megatons …
This definitely needs more explaining. The visuals are definitely unclear but the narration is still lacking, too.
Doe this mean that ALL portals will overload and destroy? Alex is very much trapped in Dreamland???
Knowing already from the comic that Merlin is going to destroy the portals, here is what I got from the panels:
1. Merlin and Niviene are sending the blast magic through (dark blobby bits).
2. The blast magic blows up the portal they are sending the magic through.
3. The magic (dark blobby bits) reaches all the other portals.
4. The other portals begin to overload (I expect them to be exploding in the next panel).
It’s not totally clear, but I prefer it without narration. And it’s okay to leave it nebulous as to what happens to Merlin and Niviene.
How about a ‘hangover speech bubble, something like Merlin saying “And all shall be one.”
No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here! Boom. Sooner or later. BOOM! -Susan Ivanova
Imagine how unclear this would be to someone who hadn’t been reading lately.
I agree with a few people here. The page alone was very vague, even with Merlin explaining he had become magic. I’m more concerned about our characters not understanding what’s happened, to both them, the portals, and Gilgamesh. So long as there is explanation in future to them, this page is just fine. However, if there are no details expounded upon at a later time, then narration might be good, lest we all be confused. But I would still feel for our other characters and THEIR confusion… In the end, it’s artistic preference and I think it will not destroy the story one way or another.
Pages missing SOUND effects, otherwise everything is great as it is.
There are occasions where the nuclear option is appropriate…or its Dreamland equivalent in this case it seems.
I like it without. Narration seems a bit, eh. Just a straight up explosion seems nice.
Scott, there does need to be some sort of explanation as to exactly what is happening.
We already know that Merlin had siezed control of the portal network, and that he was going to shut it down as soon as Nicole exited her home portal, which she just did. We know that he has become living magic and that he would never be separated from Niviene again.
What we do not know is if whether he is simply shutting down the portals by siphoning off the power that runs them, or is destroying them all through a cascade of overloads he has invoked. If the last panel had shown the whole group of portals exploding, as the first pair did, then it would be clear that wholesale destruction of the portal nerwork is going on. Some explosion sound effects would help there as well.
It is also not clear, although hinted at, that Niviene is also being converted to living magic. And there remains Merlin’s statement that he had little time, implying that there is a time limit on how long Merlin, and therefor Niviene, can remain in this plane of existence as pure magic entities.
Since Merlin and Niviene are moving away from the soon to explode portal in the first panel, which then explodes in the second panel, it looks like they are exploding the portals by passing through them, as shown by the dark dots effect they leave behind. Is this what is happening?
I didn’t get what you got from the panels – and apparently neither of us got that the nightmare realm creatures are also being destroyed.
This could be handled either by narration or by dialog from Merlin. But something has to be added to make this page comprehensible.
YAY! Another Babylon5 fan!
While I don’t necessarily need to know every exact detail, this page left me totally in the dark as to what was happening.
I didn’t know if I was seeing nightmare realm creatures being destroy or imprisoned, or if these were portals being activated or destroyed, or if these were some type of warrior object being created to fight the nightmare realm creatures.
Whether narration of off-screen dialog from Merlin, something needs to be added to make this page even vaguely understandable.
Oops! “narration OR off-screen dialog”
Please let there be a huge explosion. Please let there be a huge explosion.
They are becoming magic… So they could be nothing but thoughts, echoing to those that can hear.
Thank you all!
This is very helpful!
I do think that narration at this point would be weird since it wasn’t used anywhere else in the story, but I couldn’t really tell what was happening. Was Merlin killing the Beasties or destroying the portals? Or both? And I certainly didn’t pick up on the two of them “becoming magic.” I just thought they were glowing with the use of that much power.
So in the end, I don’t have a very good recommendation for how to make this clear without it feeling out of place and incongruous with the previous storytelling methods, but I’m sure some of the many many comments before mine have good ideas. 🙂
Even knowing that Merlin intends to destroy the portals, I was confused. Like TGIF, I thought maybe I was seeing the nightmare beasts imprisoned or somehow transformed.
That said, I agree that narration now would feel awkward after an entire comic without it. I like the idea of rearranging the panels (1, 3, 4, 2), or else adding some sort of voice-over from Merlin.
I actually knew what was going on, so I have no need for narration. However, should you see fit to include something, keep it to a minimum. A quick one-liner or a few sound effects should suffice.
I think re-writing the narriration from merlin’t point of view would be helpful.
I got the basic idea without narration, but sought the narration for a clearer understanding and it helped a lot. I agree that it would maybe be better from a character’s point of view, to keep from breaking the flow of the storytelling.
Even though I like the wordless images, and I like the *idea* of “show, don’t tell,” I did not get it at ALL from the pictures alone. “Confused” would mean I knew that I didn’t get it. I didn’t know how much I didn’t get it until I read the text. I thought, “oh, good, he’s not going to die after all. He’s just claiming all the portals’ power and he & Niviene will become superbeing portal guardians.”
I’d like to see how this page fits into the context of the next few pages before deciding if narration works. This may be one of those instances where as a daily update it doesn’t flow as well, but when read in book form makes more sense when the entire scene is read together.
i kind of looked at as Merlin was purging the darkness from the portals, then the last panel was the portals in their pure state.
I agree on narration and i’ve also like the idea of Murlin talking. I’ve known plenty of old people to narrate what there doing as they do it just because they can.
Perhaps Niviene and Merlin’s becoming magic deserves a separate page, or at least more panels on this one. It took me a while to figure out they are there at all.
Portal destruction or deactivation has been anticipated long enough, and while a pretty firework in its own right, could be shown but briefly. Guess we’d catch the hint. This sudden end of two characters’ plot lines, on the other hand, was quite unexpected.
Ditto here. The details of how the energy was amassed aren’t necessarily vital to the story, but the fact that all of the portals are being destroyed is, and that’s being conveyed very well by the graphics.
I think that is also a problem of seeing this only once a day, not being able to immediately turn the page (as we now can) and see the monsters being destroyed.
At first, I didn’t even see Niviene in the top panel.