Page 775…
More Nicole “rationalizing”. Can you blame her?
I considered adding dialog to the last two frames. Worried it didn’t work visually. It’s hard to do something like that with only two frames.
Please let me know if it works.
For those who DIDN’T get it…Dan hears her insult (even though she’s really just mumbling to herself) and wants to punch her. Alex wisely stops him and shakes his finger no….in a “just let it go” kind of way.
I HOPE it works.
🙂
We have a garage full of Paddington plushes and they’re SO ADORABLE!
I’m going to be doing sketches in the books for the rest of the week before we head off to Philadelphia for Philcon!
Have you got your tickets yet? Anyone here going to come by and say hi?
Check out the post in the blog below.
And lastly…I’ll just paste yesterday’s info about the store again.
Have a great day everyone!
Scott
Thank you all who have ordered stuff from the store.
I’ve done everything I can to accomodate your needs. I hope there’s enough selections to make everyone happy.
We’ve sold 1/3 of the Paddington plushes already. WOW! So if you’re on the fence…in only 2 days…we’re already 1/3 sold out of them.
This doesn’t mean we can’t get more…just maybe not by Christmas.
Also…please remember that we do NOT have the Felicity and Alexander figures in yet. We’re still waiting for them so any orders with them in it will be delayed.
And lastly…please PLEASE PLEASE don’t forget to add your characters you want sketched and if you want the book personalized (and to whom) when you check out. There’s a box. Fill it.
Here’s a recap from Fridyay…
Felicity and Alexander are on their way here.
http://www.bluedreamstudios.com/store.html
Make sure you check out the savings. It’s a lot.
I want you all to have these before they all go to the distributor.
Other than finding this page a bit too similar in all aspects to the previous one, I think it’s quite nice. Dan’s reaction seems a bit delayed, though; I’d say the page layout just doesn’t quite work and makes the whole thing play out too slowly.
To your question: it DOES work (pretty well) due to the facial expression… No explanation needed… Although I was a bit shocked, that Dan actually tries to hit her. ;o) I understand, though, that you needed something “dramatic” and unambiguous to express what you wanted to say in just one frame.
I think you just need a small bubble on the last frame. Alexander saying a one liner like “Chill out” “Relax Bro” “Not the time” “That’s My line” “How’s it feel” just something.
Yeah, it works great, I think maybe if you would have had Alex looking towards Dan in the third panel. Right now it kind of feels like he’s teleporting right on top Dan to stop him
I dunno. Dan doesn’t exactly come across to me as the “Punchy Facey” type, especially when it comes to busting women in the chops. (Whether they have it coming or otherwise).
I agree with Wesley, I feel the panel jumps a bit too quickly – also, jumping to Dan about to punch Nicole was a bit surprising. Another panel with both of them looking a bit stunned might ease the transition, but that’s just my opinion 🙂 Great work otherwise!
Maybe Alex saying something like “Now, now …” to Dan would make it a little clearer, at least.
I thought the last panel was just Alex saying “Does my finger smell weird to you?”
Kidding! I keed. Hee.
I think it works well, I got the intention of it right off. Sometimes words clutter up and take away, silence can actually be golden. 🙂
It looks to me like, besides getting upset over the insult, Dan is frustrated at Nicole’s thick-headed rationalization, like “Why doesn’t she get it, already?”
I thought Alex was just hushing Dan, imitating putting his finger on Dan’s lips. Man, work kills depth perception. Still, the message’s the same I guess. 😛 So yeah, it works.
About Dan trying to punch Nicole:
Just an angry face and a clenched fist do not mean that he actually was going to punch her. However, the position of his arm does suggest such a move.
Perhaps if he held his elbow lowe and the fist higher, it might better convey an “angry fist shaking”.
About panel paceing:
I also think that the paceing might be a bit off on this page. It might work better with both of Nicole’s comments in one panel (ore two small panels side by side) followed by three full-width panels of the boys:
1) Dan and Alex still looking perplext.
2) Dan getting angy and Alex turning towards him.
3) Alex holding Dan back.
For me … it works 100%
yet another great page
I’m with a few of the others. It seems like he’s frustrated, but with a lot more angry, I want to punch her coming across. It seems to me you might want to consider him heading towards her with both hands out in a choking/shaking pose rather then a balled fist.
It sends a double message. First, that she’s infuriating him enough to want to choke her. Second it’s shows he’s want to shake her for trying to rationalize everything but also as if to shake her until she’s convinced and believes them.
Plus it kind of goes better with his personality. He’s already threatened to strangle his brother:
http://thedreamlandchronicles.com/?p=39
so it seems fitting he would be angered to that point again. Again that’s just my opinion.
I’m with a few of the others. It seems like he’s frustrated, but with more anger coming across then frustration, and he does seem like he wants to punch her. It seems to me you might want to consider him heading towards her with both hands out in a choking/strangling pose rather then a balled up fist.
It sends a double message. First, that she’s infuriating him enough to want to choke her. Second it’s shows he’s want to shake her until she stops trying to rationalize everything and believes them.
Plus it kind of goes better with his personality. He’s already threatened to strangle his brother:
http://thedreamlandchronicles.com/?p=39
so it seems fitting he would be angered to that point again.
hiya Kriss. Does anyone else think that hand is excedingly huge? But then again I love the light play.
In the last frame.
Why is alex hugging him and stroking his chin?
I dont get it, in the frame before hes rather angry and gripping something in his hand (what is he holding?), then Alex is hugging him to make him relax?
I still dont understand the chin stroking, is it a sign of affection or something to do with whats in his hand?
I think it works quite well – it lets us imagine them wanting to say whatever we think they’d want to – but the words would be largely irrelevant to the emotional content. Their expressions more than takes care of that.
Besides, letting Nicole argue with herself is probably more productive. If they take up a position on what they’ve just found out, Nicole would probably just lock herself into a contrary position in reaction. This way, she’s undermining her own arguments instead of defending them. 😉
man I love your comic but sometimes these “moments” stretch on to the point of absurdity..!!! 10, 15, 20, panels just to convey one thought or piece of info…GAHHH jut say it!!! 🙂 Really I am coming to dread what I used to look forward to so much…all in the spirit of support I hope you understand
Hey there,
Just thought I’d leave a comment saying that the last panel looks just a tad off to me. I had a bit of trouble deciphering it- my conclusion was that Alex was pushing Dan’s lips from a sneer to a smile… which was the wrong conclusion. ^^;
I’d say a bit more distance between Alex’s finger and Dan’s face would help give more of a “now, now…” impression than an “turn that frown upside down!” one. 😛
Works for me, but might I point out that in your comment you said he “here’s her” instead of “hears her”.
Thank you all. I really like Krisslanay’s double post (joke) suggestion of him maybe doing the “I’m gonna strangle you” hand gesture instead.
Of course Dan would never punch her (or strangle her). It’s a comical thing…like the Honeymooners type of comedy.
I’ll consider re-doing this page. Thank you all for your honesty and for always being there for me…for good pages and bad. 🙂
Davidjames…
THank you so much. Thank you for reading.
Please keep in mind the pacing isn’t written for a daily webcomic. Sure…for 3 years it’s BEEN a webcomic. But after that…it’s a book.
If I wrote everything to be summed up in one page. The story would be done right now…and not a very interesting one. You’d lose all beats of time. All moments of character.
I have no idea how people are able to wait each day for a page. I couldn’t do it….ha ha.
But I’m thankful you all do.
I often wonder if I should just dump 5 pages on people every Monday morning. See if that makes people happier.
Anyways. Thank you and hope you continue to enjoy the series. I’d highly recommend buying the books. It makes the read more enjoyable (shameless plug).
It works as it is.
It would work better if Dan were looking at his brother with his fist clenched and an eyebrow raised (Can I just slap her cross-eyed?).
Last panel should have Alex with his finger to his lips in a Shhh… expression(Wait and watch, she’s not stupid, just stubborn).
Hmm… Yeah, I did have a little trouble understanding the action in the last couple panels. After I read your explanation, it makes sense pretty well, but the first time I read it, I was thinking, “Why is Alex pointing at Dan? Is he trying to imply that Dan is the idiot and he’s not? Or is he just seizing the chance to taunt his (smarter) brother at having been called an idiot?”
So, yeah. My random thoughts on what might make it clearer: I feel like if the cautionary finger Alex is holding up was a little more… *definite* – y’know, slightly tighter clenched fist, slightly straighter finger, it might do a better job of showing that Alex is essentially saying “wait”. Either that or instead of holding up a finger, just a placatory open-palmed hand.
The facial expressions, on the other hand, are spot-on, as always. =) Keep up the amazing work!
~ Corson
Gaaah! The paddington plushies are so adorable!!!
Nicole needs to learn better manners if she wants to make/keep friends. It’s a good thing she’s cute! XD
I think it works insofar as I could tell immediately what you meant, Scott, and I don’t think the actions are out of character. The poses could have gone better, tho I’m not sure what would be best.
I think this page works great, to me it doesn’t look like he’s gonna punch her it looks like he’s really angry and shaking his fist, then it looks like alex is ‘shhhh’ing him. 😉
It worked for me, conveying exactly what you were after. If there were more space I think I would have added Alex turning and pointing a finger in Nicole’s face with anger in his eyes (picture Harrison Ford – a la Jack Ryan – “How dare YOU, Mr. President!”) not needing to say a word to convey his warning.
They both need to walk out on Nicole now, placing her in the position to ask (okay, beg) them to continue so that she can find out more.
Is it no surprise Nicole always thought it was made up? Only because it sounded familiar. Only now is she starting to recall her childhood dreams?
Facial expressions are great – Alex’s hands seem larger than they should be but that could be the foreshortening. The action is clearer if Alex whispers “let it go” or “not worth it”…
Oh I GOT it… and I feel Dan’s anger. I find it interesting that Alex is holding him back… but I’m guessing he’s more used to be called an idiot.
the page does work, but I do agree with JackAces & Krisslanay, a fist shake or strangle motion would fit Dan’s character a bit more.
@davidjames – as Tom Petty says “The Waiting is the hardest part”…. be greatful Scott posts 5 days a week! every story has these moments that are both slow and important… imagine if he only posted once a week like most webcomics!!!!!
Scott, posting all five pages on Monday would not work as then we would read them all then have to wait a WEEK! “give an inch take a foot; give a foot, take a mile. Give enough rope, wanna be a cowboy” – Eddy Murphy
I have to agree about the page layout feeling like the previous days, it works for the most part. The wagging finger didn’t stand out to me, I didn’t realize that’s what you were going for at first. Making the finger blur maybe? Just holding him back was enough for me to get it though. The facial expressions were good, and got most of the point across.
I agree with Gauntjack. I was just about say that Alex’s hands look huge in the last frame.
Oh gosh, that’s great. A complex rationalization worthy of a Ph.D, shot down by the presence of neanderthals who are lucky to know how to tie their shoes (in her eyes). I’m still chuckling over that one. I like how they’re being forced to choose between their pride and winning the argument.
Fear not, it worked! :3
I think the page works out fine, and I can’t blame Dan for wanting to hit her. Haven’t we all wanted to strangle Nicole lately and have her just accept the fact that Dreamland exists?
Scott, PLEASE keep the page-a-day update. Waiting is always painful for more of such a good story like this, but the page-a-day format makes it easier. Too bad I’ll eventually run out of new eps of Horseland, Family Guy, and American Dad to make the weekends go easier.
I was going to go to PhiliCon just to meet you, Scott, but I lost my job and now I can’t. Will you be at the New York ComicCon next year?
Are they really so eager to punch a girl all the time? The last frame looks a little awkward, maybe it would have been better if his left hand was on his brothers chest pushing him back instead around his shoulders.
it looks like he’s stroking his chin. >.<
my opinion is to redo this page.
I got it, however I thought punching someone (ANYONE!) seems like a pretty extreme action for Dan to take. He hasn’t exhibited a desire to do violence in the past, so why would he now over an insult that Nicole has used on them before?
He seems more likely to unleash a verbal assault.
i love the comic but am not such a big fan of this page.
i would alternate the panels differently for flow..nicole panel 1. alex/dan panel 2. nicole panel 3. alex/dan panel 4. and add ‘just let it go’ to panel 4 bc it’s not totally clear. but you could let all of that go and fix the ‘mumbling to herself’ part. since you’ve bolded sections of her speech bubbles, it looks like she’s shouting. definitely not muttering under her breath. that would have to be visually relayed by altering the speech bubble somehow…and dropping all use of bold. i don’t like the bolded sections in any case, but maybe it works for children, who are a good part of the readership.
by the way, where did that AWESOME TWC incentive come from? nastajia looks beautiful and fiercer than ever!
im still wondering whether she is going to believe them eventually or not lol
Kudos to you, Scott. The gestures you are working with are awkward even in real life, (to get the proper meaning across) let alone trying to make them work in an unanimated medium. I think this page is successful, considering how easy it would be to misinterpret the action. Good work!
Yo, we’re the Carter Brothers. Not only are we not incredibly bright, but we have massive hands!
The hand was weird in the last panel… I thought Dan was doing the “bring it!” hand movement. Bad Dan! No hitting girls!
Hi! ^_^ I love your comic! But…
I just wanted to say that it seems a bit out of character for Dan to punch anyone…expecially a girl…and one he possibly likes? Idk, I didn’t like that, but I DO LOVE your comic overall! Keep up the awesome work! 🙂
I would have added something like an angry grumble and a “Dude chill…” kind of a dialog but otherwise I think it works. the hard part is only reading it one page ata time it’s harder to see who it fits in the longer term.
I guess it works… Although I would have chosen an open hand in a “stop” or “chill out” way than the finger, which is rather confusing because it could also mean Alex wants to point out something.
I also want to poit out that the four panel vertical layout may work for more cinematic scenes (as you pointed out, it acually produces a very cinematic experience) but at this stage it can get kind of too slow paced.
It works brilliantly Scott, although I imagined Alex’s finger to almost be a ‘ssshhhh’ gesture as well, but yeah, VERY good job on the last two frames, the facial expressions are spot on. 😉
If you hadn’t said anything, I never would have given it a second thought. I think the meaning’s perfectly clear.
But now I’ve overthought it, and all I can think is that Alex is trying to pick Dan’s nose.
I haven’t read the other comments, but because of the way the final image is framed… some people may not get that it is Alex’s hand in front of Daniel’s face. Left hand on the shoulder with right hand sort of between them in a “Stop” position may better convey what you are trying to express… but, I’m not an artist so I’m not sure…
It works well without any chat. However, the physical action doesn’t fit with the character. A furious face, even a one-finger salute would have been more appropriate than attempting to hit someone for a simple insult.
Alex has HUGE hands compared to his bro…. I’m sorry but that sort of stood out to me. ^^;;
And I agree with the others. Daniel doesn’t strike me as the type to hit somebody. more like he’d wear an expression that basically says: “Hey, what do you mean by that?!”
Alex’s hand seems kind of oddly positioned, it almost looks like he is poking Dan in the face. Otherwise its all good and I certainly got the idea of what was happening.
To me the page works really well, I think the timing is good. I only didn`t get the last panel. To me it looked like Alex was rubbing something off Dan`s face… I allready thought that Alex`s hands were really big, untill you said that he was waving his finger and by doing that his hand is closer to the camera than Dan`s face… Other than that I think it works well!
Poor Nicole, running out of excuses for this weird situation… I think it`s cool that she and Felicity were friends though, could she be the friend that Felicity talked about, who never returned to Dreamland? It would be a nice reunion and interesting to see those two characters together. 🙂 Looking forward to what`s to come!!
Hey Scott, absolutely love this comic/book! Re-read it all the other day, so beautiful. The only beef I have with this (and poss the few previous pages), is the SIZE OF ALEX’S HANDS! They seem really swollen! I know he’s a big guy (swoon lol) but they seem out of proportion. As to today’s page, I got it easily with the punching thing, it’s all in his expression!
Anyway, hope this helps,
Sophie xx
the problem is that his hand should be on his brothers, not looking like he is shushing him.
When Alex wags his finger “no” it seems to me that the finger should be straight, not bent. Have a few people demonstrate for you. There’s something about the gesture that works better for me when tension is part of it.
Re finger:
Kelly Hamilton – talented artist – does it best. Simply have multiple positions in one frame, though I do understand this could be tricky to do with 3D.
http://www.junglestudio.com/roza/index.php?date=2008-08-25
Check the phoenix at the bottom middle frame for an example.
Today’s Worked better without the speech bubbles in frames 3&4… tho’ frame 3 would work fine with “Hey!”
I preferred the comic without the bubbles in frames 3 and 4.
Their twins and brothers they should be able to communicate without words or using cheesy speach fx. It just seemed more mature it being without speech.
She didn’t move from the corner yet, but it looks like Alex and Dan have shifted their focus to their left from the previous page. The bookshelf corner is between them now.
Are they looking at the wall and not the corner where Nicole is standing?
hmm. i kinda preferred the version i saw this morning – this just doesn’t have quite the same impact
why did the bottom two panel change? I think the first set worked better for me. the message bubble and the exclamation mark kinda stood out against the actual comic.
Just my 2 cents worth. Btw, can’t wait to see why Nicole reacted that way. haha.
I agree, the original seems better. The exclamation breaking the speech bubble’s boundries doen’t seem to look right for the comic.
nah, i think the changes are better 🙂
I think all the useful advice I got give has been dispensed by those who know better than I do. 😀
Either way, we thoroughly enjoy it and “Dreamland Chronicles” is on my list of things to buy. 🙂
It doesn’t really matter whether it changed or not. It didn’t really do much to make me lose interest on the story. Still love the comic. 😀
I liked the first version better–I totally got what was going on. The speech bubbles don’t really seem to fit it.
I prefer the original version. Now Alex just stands like a plastic sculpture.
Ah now i understand whats happening. Sorry for the confusion earlier.
I think the new pictures are better and easier to read though alex looks a bit dopey standing like a robot 😀
I like this new version better ^_^
Nice, but I actually think the original was better.
Hey, I ordered Comic Books 1 & 2 a couple of days ago and didn’t know I was supposed specify which “personal sketch” I desired. Is it too late??
Hi Heather…
No it’s not too late. Please email me.
Um I dont want to seem ofencive(sp) but this new one Alex looks alittle dead it would be apropreat if looked cross but not saying anything in the the last two pannels He’s already been called dumb once in the last 15 min he dosent need to be called dumb again…
No offense taken Katana…
Actually I left him like that for comedic reasons.
I felt it was funnier (and drove the idiot point home) if he didn’t even react to what Nicole said. It just went right over his head.
lol I liked it but the last panel I think it would be way better with him doing a choking motion at her
Liking the last two panels better now. They convey the feeling clearly. =3
My main complaint about the new version is that the bubbles on the last two panels don’t really match with all the other speech bubbles in the comic, like they were pulled out of somebody else’s superhero comic and stuck in there. Otherwise… I think I could go either way.
I think that your new positioning is better for the characters, but the speech bubbles with just the symbols in them take away from it a little bit. They don’t really fit with what I’ve seen in the rest of the comic, and really, they are fine, but just odd. Without them with the total silence like the original one was better, but like I said, positioning of the bodies and the transition was much better in this version. ^_^ Keep writing greatness!! ^_^
Like mercy said, plus the color around the last 2 bubbles is black, and the others purple or something? 😛
I liked the last one a little better, Alex’s reaction was better in that one, his bro gets all the attention in this one. I don’t know I’m torn. Alex in this one just sits there.
Whoa, I came to the site and the last two panels were changed… really, take out the weird comic-symbols. Maybe, in the third panel, have Dan say “You-” and leave the fourth dialogueless. Also, it looks as if the insult went over Alex’s head, yet it was such a blunt insult. Perhaps have him furrow his brow, but not wish to say anything.
Hooray!! I like this page now 😀
It totally works. I love it!
Sometimes words overdo it, I think. I can just picture him being like, gah.
And Alex is pretty good too – that’s the faec i would be wearing!
he starts to say something but then thinks ‘Yeah, she’s probably right’
and Alex? is he in shock or just waiting for her to admit the truth to herself
I like the last 2 panels. It’s like Toraush Naull said only to me he’s about to argue with her but then realizes that she’s finally starting to believe them so he holds himself back as to not ruin the moment and lets the insult go. I also think that Alex is oblivious to her comment because he was to busy watching her reaction to the whole situation and waiting for her to come to terms with it….even just a little bit.
I’m with zaybex: I liked it better without the symbols. Let Dan’s expression say what he has no words for…
But, comparing it to the original (below tomorrow’s page), I do like the brothers’ poses in this one better.
Wow, these comment sections are getting long …
As a VERY recent “Dreamer”, I never saw the original of this page, of course. But the current version actually made me LOL, which is quite rare for me, and a first for even this most excellent comic. (Not that I don’t laugh at this and other comics, often; I just usually do it quietly … )
So, yeah; this works …
😛
Wow…new symbols…about time
(Yeah, late, I know, but I’m catching up)
No cmoapilnts on this end, simply a good piece.
FYI to all, the original version of this is posted on the next page below the main comic. I agree that the current version is better. I’m all for more violence and threats of violence, but it does not work out at this time.
I think you may be one of the only ones who understood immediately.
I do like this version better, with Dan looking to argue, but deciding against it. As opposed to fighting. To the author, it might of been more clear if his fist was coming from the bottom of the page, not the side of his body. More a shaking of the fist than a punching motion.