Page 1143…
UPDATE:
Ok…so how’s this for a compromise? A little less drama?
For reference…here’s the original KHAAAAAN version…
Ok…so today’s page…I was going for THIS type of drama…
Too dramatic?
I’m thinking maybe it’s a bit TOO much.
I’ll try re-working that last panel…
It’s also a new month. So feel free to click the link below and vote for us on Topwebcomics.
And also…another reminder. There’s still some Chapter One pages for sale.
I found a collection of unsold originals (that’s one of a kind prints with no dialog) while cleaning the other day.
So I put them up for sale at only $10 each!
That’s 80% off of the regular price of originals.
So if you’d like to pick up your favorite before they’re gone…go here to start browsing…
http://thedreamlandchronicles.com/category/the-dreamland-chronicles/chapter-01/
Find the page you want and click on it. Then go to the bottom navigation and click BUY PRINT.
The rest is pretty self explanatory.
I’m going to put some Chapter Two pages up this week too.
Scott
It is a bit much, funny but a bit much. My first reaction was why is she screaming? what caused that to take place?
Ham? Yes. Too much? No.
I am loving her angry face and accusatory finger-pointing. Also would be glad for a change of pace from standing around having flashbacks.
Its funny because she’s angry. (Not really)
I get what you were trying to do, but its not funny. Try again.
SNAAAAAKKKKKKEEEEE!!!!!!!
Nastajia should have ran up to Alex and planted a wet one. That would’ve keep me in Dreamland. A possible remedy for your story, in the future.
Gee, I kinda like it. 🙂
Ha! I was joking when I said he’d probably be waking up!!
{Comedic relief non-withstanding}
Wonder what Dan’s reaction is going to be regarding the amulet?
I guess that never happened in your dreams, huh? That never works! haha.
Another factor to consider: Orion taught Alex (among other things) how to deliberately wake himself up. So Nastajia may very well have good reason to be angry at Alex for this, if he’s waking up on purpose to escape the situation.
Although, discussing his decision with Dan and Nicole in the waking world is probably a wise move, all in all.
Keep voting everyone!
Ah, yes… A bit too much, me thinks, though a nice reference, none the less, haha!!
Maybe make her all “GRRR” and the “”UGH/RAWR/ALEXANDER!!” ? Using sounds to get across the mood I’m trying to say because I can not think of properly descriptive words. Or maybe just frightening ‘Staj rage-face… Bah, I’m still not fully awake! Pay me no mind! (I do love the third panel with her pointing at him, though!!)
lol, “KHAAAN!” was EXACTLY what I thought of when I saw that last panel. 😛
Although, I don’t know what she is yelling about. Dreamland’s time fluxes, meaning that he could be gone a while day but to them it would be an hour. He could spend time making a proper decision. So really, it would be better for him to wake up and talk it out.
Btw, Scott, I was thinking she was going to do the Vadar “Noooooooo!” scene hehe.
I don’t think he ever had a dream where what happened in it could affect him in the real world either haha. So it might work better in Dreamland =P
Exactly. This was no accident.
And she knows it.
Perhaps shortening her scream to “Alex” would make it seem less awkward?
It was definitely funny, but probably not right for your final print of the book. :p Maybe keep it for an extra — an alternate version of whatever you finally settle on.
What a time to wake up, though. I feel her frustration.
Regardless of what others say particularly if she knew he was doing it deliberately I think this was not only funny but very fitting. A nice reference and expression of frustration where his first response to EVERYONE looking to him is ” oops gotta go”. Keep it up Scott. btw first time posting but I’v been following for a few months very good work overall.
I may be the only one but her frustration appears to be something a woman would feel when her partner er um leaves a little too early. Not that it’s ever happened to me of course.
Seriously, that was the first thing I thought of. unless you by deliberately playing in the Bugs Bunny school of double entendre, you might want to consider reworking that scene a bit.
yours truly,
Mind In The Gutter
Ya maybe a bit to much…….Still it fits whats going on
The last panel suits her just fine. She expects too much of him at times, and this is one of those times. Maturing or not, war is not something Alex can decide lightly on, and it seems that Nastajia’s immediate decision on what to do scares him, since he can’t rationally discuss this with her, but he knows he can rationally discuss with Dan and Nicole.
Niiiiiiiiiiice! I love it Scott and it works just fine with the comic. Over dramatic? Her whole kingdom and people’s fate not to mention her own occupation and probably life hangs in the balance of an immature college student. I think this coupled with the frustrations of him randomly waking up at inconvenient (or maybe purposely convenient times ^^ ) would warrant this reaction. I think it’s great. Now I wasn’t thinking the wrath of kan but instead more like horton hears a who like she trying to get the attention of him wherever he went. Almost like they living inside his sub conscience. Made me chuckle.
lol. I love star trek. I thought it was funny but ya. Maybe only Shatner can be Shanter. Sadness.
If you really want to do something different, an alternative might be a closeup of Nastajia’s really angry face~ maybe gritting her teeth, or something.
Alexander’s girlfriend SO wants to kick some dragon butt!
She is pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!but is funny
hooray, cleavage
That’s so dramatic it’s funny.
hehe I actually found it helarious shows her irritation at him leaving at such a critical moment.
WAAAAALLLLTTTTTTT!!
lol nice star trek ref there. XD but it does seem i bit much, why dos she scream this time when alex is waking up and not the other time?
alex needs to seriously work on his timing.
The drama button is needed http://www.dramabutton.com/
It’s perfect!! Don’t re-work it, keep it the way it is!! 🙂
I agree. Especially because, as teksever said above Alex could be waking up on purpose to escape the situation.
LOL!
Love it!
lol KHAAAAN!!! dun dun duuuuuuun
thats hilarious… totally overdoing it, but… LOVE!!!
KKhhhhaaaaaannnn!!!
I don’t think it’s too much at all.
She’s already expressed how she hates him disappearing at important times.
And you made it look humorous, too. Leave it the way it is!
In which case her reaction is a little overdone yet mostly reasonable. 🙂 I for one laughed hystrerically when I read it…even before seeing your comment about going for “KHAAAN!” level drama. 🙂 Looks like I may be out-voted though.
See, no. This is good. No he has daytime to think this through and could have something semi-coherent and (maybe?) intelligent to actually tell people when he gets back.
Hi all!
So I got the call. I need to fly out to Los Angeles next week to meet about the movies.
So…since I have NO buffer…I’m going to have this be the last page of the week. And I should get about 3-4 pages ready by Sunday for next week.
Good?
I think that the first four panels work better than the last one. Over the top could work but I think the panel isn’t consistent with the text. The pose is KHAAAN, but the name could be shorter, or some kind wordless scream to sound right. Or you could go with the full name, maybe even with Carter added, and change the pose/face to an angry mom yelling at a misbehaving child.
I can not imagine a more perfect way to end this sequence. After all the heavy stuff, we could use a moment of comic relief. PLEASE keep it!
Fine by me. I’ll have my 7 year-old make some buffer pages, too. As long as you don’t mind Lego Star Wars characters making a guest appearance, there shouldn’t be any continuity issues at all!
I think it’s funny the way it is! XD
I liked this ending as well. Plus, we know how frustrating Alexander can be to Nastajia, but this is the first time it’s really gotten to her.
I had to be told that Alex woke up on purpose, and that Nastajia knew it. Maybe if Alex’s dialog was more like ‘Oops. I..uh..I’m waking up” then I would have understood the lack of sincerity in his surprise.
Yes, I think the last panel is a bit over-dramatic and kind’ve too far out there XD
I’d more likely imagine Nastajia having some sort of a “face palm” moment at the end~!
I dunno. I think I’d scream, too, in Nastajia’s place. After all, Alex just got asked to decide the fate of the whole of Dreamland, basically – and Nastajia has a huge stake in that. The whole of the future is now resting on what Alex decides to do next and he chooses that very moment to wake up. Wouldn’t YOU want to yell a bit, if you were her?
Of course, it’s a great thing for Alex, as he now gets to talk things out with his brother, who is most definitely the brains of the family.
I think it was very funny and didn`t pick it up as too dramatic at all. I see her frustration because they had this responsibility talk earlier and he`s still walking away from it. Now I read in the comments that he did it on purpose too, and she knows it. I would react this way too probably 😀
If you feel that it`s too dramatic, I guess it`s the angle the camera stands. I would keep the screaming reaction but maybe you can change the point of view to:
– an overview in which you clearly see the empty spot and Nastajia looking at it
– Nastajia from the side, tense and not hanging backwards like this, but still screaming.
– a worm perspective (also not hanging backwards but standing almost like she is stamping her foot) and you`d still see she screams it to his (now vanished) face.
Just some suggestions. Have fun in LA, good luck with the movies!!
The last panel is too much over the top. Yes, it made me giggle, but I truly didn’t understand quite why -that- level of drama was introduced. Frustrating, yes? Entirely plot-thwarting? No.
i agree. first, alex seems to be frequently waking up in the middle of climactic moments (previously by accident, but still) – this would drive any girl nuts. second, even if nastajia did not know that orion was teaching alex to control this, she has a melodramatic personality in general, since alex returned to her. would she become a calm, normal person if she weren’t in the midst of the drama of saving her kingdom and her parents (and i’m guessing most of us in the comments haven’t exactly ‘been there, done that’)? we can’t tell…i’m guessing she’d have moments of calm, but she is a passionate, excitable person. this is totally in character – and i do love it and think it’s funny, bc it’s sort of the culmination of her reaction many of his unexpected exits.
I think it works the way it is. It was hilarious. 😀
Great work as always Scott, and I don’t mind if you can’t keep the update schedule that has been the best kept schedule I’ve seen among webcomics. Especially if it is to help creating the movie.
This is my first time commenting on here but I have following the comic for quite some time. Firstly Scott, great job really loving the comic, I love the style of a 3D comic and can’t wait for the movie. 😀
But I’m mostly posting because for me personally this page really isn’t working and please don’t take anything to harsh but this page seems..random? but in a bad trying too hard way. Too me it just seems really out of character for Nastajia. Even mad I can’t really see her doing this unless it was like some battle cry or something along that line. Just putting my two cents in, I feel it would work better with just Nastajia bitterly scowling at the now gone Alex or a killer death stare going on ( -_- or T_T sorta face) or even just a close up on her face and expressing her annoyance with just her eyes. I think with more of a scowl you can still show her annoyance, be less over the top while this page still being funny. But that’s just my opinion out of many viewers XD;
don’t you dare!
ALEXANDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wo… she looks like my sister… gasp…
I can’t believe Alex “ran away” by waking up on purpose ! No wonder Nastajia is upset.
I guess great minds think alike don’t they?
Greg Dean’s comic seems to be inspired by the same emotion 🙂 (real life comics)
Great scene though.
When I saw the last panel, I sorta subliminally thought of that little clip — and then BAM, there it is. XD
It kinda ruined the drama and turned it into “Narm“. Still, I think it works anyway. :p
That works Scott. 🙂
Everyone should be very excited about the movie stuff you’re doing. I know I am!
Oh yeah… “evil-gasm” made me ZOMG-ROFLMAO!! ^.^
(Took three minutes to catch my breath from so much laughter! 😛 lol)
I would expect less drama. The long “ALEXAAAAANDEEEERRRR” type shout should be for disaster, not for the simple “bad timing frustration”.
If you want to reference Star Trek, a MUCH more apropos one would be Alexander waking up going “Damn, damn, damn, DAMN!”, as he was just effectively “beamed out” before he could finish what he was doing.
To me, it is a bit much. Nattie seems to lady-like to strike a pose quite like that. I see her more as the raising the shoulders and doing the rigid-pencil stance over throwing her arms out. That, or, she’d face palm and look really brooding. But I do like her tiny OOC outburst :>
As a fellow trekkie, I call hilarious!
Have a safe trip!
Looking forward to next weeks pages.
I think that sounds REAL good!
Is it me or do her eyes look… Silver?
I think it works very well the way it is. You can see Nastajia’s frustration building when she says “Don’t you DARE!” and I think it is entirely appropriate that when he did anyway she had that kind of reaction. Yes, she’s prim and proper and haughty most of the time but you can just see he pushed her over the edge. Plus it gives Felicity something to mock her with in future, which can’t be bad.
I would vote not to change it.
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!
I like it! It’s perfectly normal, elvish display of frustration. That, coupled with the Star Trek reference, makes it awesome. Don’t change a thing, Scotty ;).
Yes, what they said, shorten it to “Alex” but add a whole bunch more letters.
AAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean, if you’re going for absurdity.
And if that’s what you were aiming for, you got it dead center on the first shot. That’s exactly what came into my mind, before I scrolled down and saw the embedded video.
Ya can’t beat the classics.
Funny… the first thing that came to my mind was STELLLLAAAAA!!!! I guess I’m more in touch with the classics rather than really cool movies. 😛
That’s a big “WOO” Scott! I hope your meeting goes very well! I’ll be sure to wave at you from the northern part of the state… and I know I’ll be here when you “return” 🙂
Ok…
Newer version up.
Thoughts?
Love the added touch of the embedded video. Especially the end of the video, with the pop-up note for Khan’s expression.
Personally, I love the dramatic version. When I first read this today (new one) my very first thought before I read the comments was “KHAAAAAN!” Loved it! 🙂
Really, Scott, pretty much anything you do with the comic, I will love. And I think that’s true for most here. 🙂
For me the whole “KHAAAAN!!!” reaction was too much. It just seemed to come out of nowhere. There needed to be more of a build-up to make the helpless raging-at-the-sky thing make sense. I could see her standing with her fists balled, arms thrown back, straining forward as she yelled at the place where Alex had just been standing, but there just didn’t seem to be quite enough reason for her to scream like her frustration had mounted to the point of near insanity.
And of course between first loading the page and getting through reading all the comments to make my own comment the page gets updated. :p
It does look much better now. Not that I didn’t like her little “ADRIAAAAA!” moment there, but this scene makes much more sense. 🙂
It may be the same pose, but the new angle doesn’t convey the same dialogue in the same way, and it looks a but awkward. My suggestion would be new dialogue. Something along the lines of “Argh! Men!”
First time poster? In that case, welcome fellow Dreamer!
I hope you’re visiting TWC every day to vote Dreamland into the top 10!
Welcome, fellow Dreamer!
I found the single exclamation point to be more effective (no more KHAAAANNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! references), but the new angle does not express Nastajia’s frustration as well as the previous angle.
I liked the way the scene played out. Alex waking up at this moment is exactly in character. This is leading up to more growth in his character. I would not be surprised to see alex even trying to delay going to sleep again after talking with Dan and Nichole. He probabaly wouldn’t be able to go to sleep right away again anyway.
As far as Nastajia’s reaction, I think it was right on. Up to now, there have been all these reveals of the history, telling how it was before nichodemas took over, but even the histories recovered, would be flat in their telling. Revealing information, but flat. The voice from the sword I would imagine would not be monotone, but have inflection, even if it was just reciting what happened, it would have more impact.
Thank you Scott for telling such a wonderful tale.
….Interesting how you made the bowstring crooked in panel 3. From her right shoulder guard up to the top of her bow, the string is definitely not straight….
I prefer the second version, it’s a more flattering angle of nastajia.
Hmm… Alexander woke up, but the sword is still in Dreamland…
You shoulda left it! It was nice, and far more amusing.
You can never go wrong with Shatner and if anything else, I think it adds to emotional state that Nastajia is feeling. 😀 I guess everyone’s got some time to think about the eggs of knowledge that cracked all over them.
DOH!
I forgot to hide it in this last version.
Thanks.
Well it seems like, no madder if Alex is holding it or not, the sword goes with him, like when nic was holding it a few pages back.
I prefer the new version — while KHAAAAANastajia was funny, it breaks the fourth wall of the comic, and changes the tone to satire/spoof instead of story. The original page makes a GREAT extra, but for consistency of character and storyline the new version is better.
Aww, I liked the dramatic version better! It made it more humorous. XD
Also, I was thinking of him waking up at just this moment while reading the last page! At least it’ll give him time to weigh the options (flip a coin?) !
I like the first version better. 🙂
Much better. The original was funny, but a little over the top. 😛
I like this new one better. It kind of make Nastajia seem like she still has some petulant, royal, brat princess in her.
Not sure which version is better, but I’ll always liken it to a “KHANNNNN!!!!!” reaction anyway.
Exactly what I thought when spas wrote “alex seems to be frequently waking up in the middle of climactic moments (previously by accident, but still) – this would drive any girl nuts.”
But I didn’t want to say anything.
I also loved the alternate Khan ending (also probably caused I rewatched it this week). I would have also accepted “NNOOOOOO!”, though the Darth Vader version is so much hammier.
So much ham, I’d like some eggs with it. 😀
AWWW u changed the last panel?!?!?!?!
Alex is SO gonna get it from Tasj when he goes back to sleep XD
Seems everyone for some reason has seen the old Star Trek episode. Hm.
Well, here’s a comment from a person that haven’t seen that episode before:
The reaction seem totally off. Since when did Nastajia become a war monger? A decision of war should NEVER be made hastily. Even if Alex had stayed in DL, there should be a summit where they calculate who’s with them and who’s not. Mer-people, Fairies, surviving dwarves, and those that have not been contacted yet – Guardians. Etc.
Also, a plan should be made. And if that plan is not good enough, then the answer should still be “no war”.
Still, even as Alex goes away, Nastajia should be starting to make those preparations – get representatives there for the meeting – not scream about him getting out-of-her-world consultation. She has proven organisatory skills earlier in the book – it can’t have all gone away.
So that’s why I’d say that her reaction is totally off all reason.
Moreover, when I watch the Star Trek clip, I get even more confused.
1. It is of two enemies that hate each other.
2. The evil one is about to win, and they both know it.
3. It is a loooong build-up before the outrage, or since I haven’t seen the ST episode, at least I get that impression.
4. It seems to be a matter of life and death.
So therefore I see no relation at all to this TDC scene, where one lover causes a temporary, but overall unimportant procrastination of a very important decision.
Moreover, and I hate to do this because I love your work, Scott – please understand that I am trying to put this as constructive criticism. Pardon my English if I fail.
The last scene, updated one, immediately makes me think of poorly drawn cartoons that there seem to be 13 to the dozen of on the cartoon TV channels. She stands in a “stiff” position, her muscles do not seem tense at all, there is no shaking or anything. Her mouth is shut, so she seems to be gritting her teeth, even though the speech bubble implies that she is screaming – incompatible.
(In fact, she looks as if she is waiting for someone to throw a bucket of water at her to clean of some smudge from her neck or chest.)
Personally, I think she should be standing on her toes, or even jumping a little, say 2-4 inches above the ground, to better reflect her muscular tension. Arms a little more front. And either her teeth should be showing or her mouth should be open to reflect the intensity of the scream.
Hey Bezman…
Just to clarify. This clip isn’t from an episode. It’s from the second movie “Star Trek- The Wrath of Khan”
I agree with your thoughts. Thanks
I would through in my thoughts… Completely ignoring any reference material… the original is better.
2nd one just doesn’t feel right… maybe try for a /facepalm gesture instead 😛 if you insist on changing it. If you need reference.. http://picardfacepalm.com/
Yes, I agree–growth often happens when we face something that is too much for us at the moment, avoid it, and then, on reflection, come back to face it more directly. This is a teachable moment for Alexander–or should we say a learnable moment?
I, for one, like the old version better. One word: cleavage!
weren’t her eyes green before? now they look silver…
I like the second version much better. The other was funny, but kind of off for me for the tone of the overall comic.
put it back scot it was nicely done and fit how she should have felt i love the old version!
User (Alex): connection reset by peer.
Nastajia: OMGWTF?
Naww…
I liked the old one better, this seems less frustrated over Alex somehow. :/
That was definately over the top. It actually made me giggle a little.
Hm! Just saw the update. I must say it looks MUCH better now. 🙂
I like it^^ the last picture is just hillarious.
I guess right now she thinks something like ” OMG when does he finally stop running away and take over responsibility”, kinda can understand her point.
If Alex did wake up deliberately as Orion has shown him, than Nastajia has every right to be mad since he’s acting like it’s just happening on its own.
For the first time, I think the original version is better. I usually think that changes are an improvement, but in this case, I think Nastajia’s frustration comes across better with the top-down view.
KKKUUUURRRRRGAAANNN!!